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Provincetown :: Tuesday, April 22nd 2014

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Guestus, Interruptus

A Guide to Being a Delightful Guest

May 10th, 2010

Bang! The front door flies open and an unexpected guest yells “Surprise!” His video camera is on, recording my reaction to his visit. I wave, say hello and go hide in the powder room.

Bang! The front door flies open and an unexpected guest yells “Surprise!”

After I look in the mirror at today’s wrinkles, I turn around to see a guest staring at me from the condo next door. She puts a magazine in front of her face. I close my blinds ala Alfred Hitchcock’s ‘Rear Window’. Summer is here.

Over 30,000 people will spend the night in Provincetown this season. Here’s my guide to being a delightful guest:

“Just because you can act out in Provincetown doesn’t mean you have to!” Lea Delaria

Tell us that you are coming to visit. “Let’s go to P-Town! And stay over my friend’s house!” you say to the new main squeeze. The door opens. It’s you and who? I’m asleep from a double. Please call, pretty please?

Arrive with a gift. Have flowers delivered to the host or walk in the door with a bag of freshly ground coffee. It says hello and thanks.

Give your Provincetown host(ess) a break. My father always said, “Guests are like fish. They both stink after two days”. Break up your visit with side trips to Nantucket, camping or a fun motel.

Have your hot night elsewhere. You vow to have a fling and meet him/her singing Karaoke. The two of you find our guest room, after knocking over a vase. You do it. He snores. You’re a screamer. I never needed to know this.

Leave the Designer at home. Countless pairs of sunglasses disappear in Provincetown annually. What were you doing out at Herring Cove with $400.00 Armani’s and not much else?

See you soon. Call ahead!

Artistic bon vivant Laura Shabott loves to write about Provincetown. A graduate of the SMFA, Boston, she is practiced in writing, acting and painting.

Flowers www.wildflowerprovincetown.com

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